Keep Them Covered If Cold

Cold Feet have Socks on When Sleeping

We all have oddities when it comes to our body and knowing that give us many opportunities to cooperate with our mate and make adjustments that will work out better for both parties. Now I realize that having cold feet is not of your choosing and if you could fix it you would. But heres the deal, when cold feet are pressed against your mate it frequently wakes them up and then its hard for them to find their slumber again. So put some socks on and the problem is solved and your mate will appreciate your concern for their sleep.

Clean Feet Produce less Odor

The bedroom for some reason poses more problems for most couples and figuring out solutions goes along way in making the togetherness work better. Now I’m not Mr. No it all but I can tell you with absolute certainty that showering just before you go to bed will make your togetherness work one hundred percent better. As the day progresses we all produce odors that cling to us and usually don’t interfere with the collection device called our nose. But other noses take a deep dislike to this odor and would rather have it removed so that they could sleep without being annoyed by it. And Im sure you have noticed that smelling good generally receives a favorable response from your love mate and if all conditions are in place favorable interaction may come into play and that produces chemicals that help the maters sleep better. Either way good hygiene is better then sleeping in the barn if you get my drift.

Darkness is Good for Sleeping

Also darkness is a great aid in helping people get to sleep. So putting proper coverings on the window is extremely important. I like over kill in my bedroom. First I have the old pull down roll shade, then I use window blinds and I used the ones that resist the outside light best. Then I use drapes to completely cover the window opening.

Bedrooms Should be Neutral Places

We have no pictures on the walls, or books around and certainly no notes for future things to do. There is nothing in our bedroom that reminds us of anything. We think of our bedroom as a neutral place where sleep and happiness exist. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by Mayr

Happiness Should Be Your Number 1 Goal

Everyone Deserves Happiness

You know that many people have rotten childhoods and then that defines them for the rest of their life. We develop these unhappy feelings and keep feeding them everyday like having a fire and just continue to add fuel to it. Unhappiness just totally consumes our life and we become what we feel and we think its our fault and only have small moments in time when happiness finds us napping and for that short period of time we smell the aroma of wellness. But its like a stranger in the night and while your sleeping and having bad dreams, it walks away and leaves you to your lonely life.

Don't Feed Off Each Other

And even when you find someone to share your thoughts with they too have their own unhappiness and then you feed off each other and the madness even gets worse. Yet both of you see others being happy and you wish for what they have, but wishing alone wont make it happen.

Decide for Happiness and that will Lead to Love

If this is you, whether your single or married happiness and love are yours for the asking. What you must do is to decide that happiness and love is your number one priority. So here's the first thing you want to do. Get a single note book like the kids use in school and write this on the first page in big letter (Love and Happiness is my number one priority) Now on a regular basis look at the paper and repeat the words and thru the day say the words in your head to yourself. So your mind will get the message on what you want to happen in your life and it will start helping you achieve your goal.

Stay Alive

Sometimes we get so into ourselves that we miss the whole point of being alive. Being alive should be a wonderful adventure and shouldn't be taken so seriously; Like its a matter of life or death. Life should be lived and we should always be doing new things and meeting new people. Get your childhood back and start having fun with everything you do and stop worrying about everything. And above all things become a people person. Talk to everyone, youl be amazed the opportunities that will come to you when you become a people person. Become a helping person and smile at everyone. Love and happiness from you will be like a breath of fresh air to everyone you meet.

Live Love and not Doom

The Ruler of the Universe grants everyone the joy of love and happiness. And no one can take it from you. If you have people in your life and they spread the word that doom and gloom is just around the corner. Walk away and find another corner to stand by because their one hundred percent wrong and you don't need the bad vibes their sending out.

Love and happiness is like the air its free and everyone deserves the joy it brings. That's how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Love Guru

photo by Mayr

Marriage is a Binding Contract

Marriage is a Legal Contract

Marriage is a contract between two people that binds them in a legal way that is determined by the state that your are married in. And even thought you may make verbal commitments to each other those words are not part of the legal document you will sign after all the words are spoken and agreed to. And people get married for all kinds of reasons and most of them in my thinking are for other reasons other then for being in love. Now don't jump to conclusions and think this is shallow thinking on my part and I don't know what Im talking about. Well guess what I do and Im going to now explain my thinking on this subject. True love for most people is something they have never experienced or viewed via some other couple. And the reason for this is because true love would require God like powers and that thinking isn't available on earth at least not yet. So the best that we can do is, is to do our best and hope for the best. But be sincere to yourself about how you feel and that will go along way in making your marriage a good and wonderful thing to be part of.

When You Say I Do Mean It

So when you say or hear I do remember there just words and not a promise from God that all will be well with you. If you and your spouse survive it will be because you want it to and you put all your effort to it.

The Marriage Contract Never Changes But You Will & Thats Good

The marriage document will not change but you will and thats the trick to a happy life together. Always change something that doesn't work to something that does. There's a billion ways to do one thing. If something isn't working find something else that will and then take pride in being so smart and watch others never changing and always being on the edge of falling off the cliff. You will find cliffs everywhere in life and thru your entire life. But don,t worry about it because that is the way life is. Just become a person who realizes that life will always show up with issues and then you have the choice to do something or just let it be and see what happens. I personally find the best choice is to give the issues a great deal out of the box thinking and then just wait for your mind to find the answer and as of today that process of doing is working great for me. That doing nothing stuff leaves too many things to chance and chance sucks when its not working for you. Figure things out in advance and then act according. You'll find that process will serve you well. If it doesn't you can always jump ship and find someone else and then start the process over again with a new person and that will probably cause more problems then it will solve.

Starting Over Isn't Always the Answer

I am of the opinion after many years of experience that working with what you have is a better choice then going back to ground zero. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by kumon

The The Marriage Contract is Fragile So Be Gentle with It

Marriage is a Legal Contract

Marriage is a contract between two people that binds them in a legal way that is determined by the state that your are married in. And even thought you may make verbal commitments to each other those words are not part of the legal document you will sign after all the words are spoken and agreed to. And people get married for all kinds of reasons and most of them in my thinking are for other reasons other then for being in love. Now don't jump to conclusions and think this is shallow thinking on my part and I don't know what Im talking about. Well guess what I do and Im going to now explain my thinking on this subject. True love for most people is something they have never experienced or viewed via some other couple. And the reason for this is because true love would require God like powers and that thinking isn't available on earth at least not yet. So the best that we can do is, is to do our best and hope for the best. But be sincere to yourself about how you feel and that will go along way in making your marriage a good and wonderful thing to be part of.

When You Say I Do Mean It

So when you say or hear I do remember there just words and not a promise from God that all will be well with you. If you and your spouse survive it will be because you want it to and you put all your effort to it.

The Marriage Contract Never Changes But You Will & Thats Good

The marriage document will not change but you will and thats the trick to a happy life together. Always change something that doesn't work to something that does. There's a billion ways to do one thing. If something isn't working find something else that will and then take pride in being so smart and watch others never changing and always being on the edge of falling off the cliff. You will find cliffs everywhere in life and thru your entire life. But don,t worry about it because that is the way life is. Just become a person who realizes that life will always show up with issues and then you have the choice to do something or just let it be and see what happens. I personally find the best choice is to give the issues a great deal out of the box thinking and then just wait for your mind to find the answer and as of today that process of doing is working great for me. That doing nothing stuff leaves too many things to chance and chance sucks when its not working for you. Figure things out in advance and then act according. You'll find that process will serve you well. If it doesn't you can always jump ship and find someone else and then start the process over again with a new person and that will probably cause more problems then it will solve.

Starting Over Isn't Always the Answer

I am of the opinion after many years of experience that working with what you have is a better choice then going back to ground zero. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by kumon

Find Solutions Rather then Attacking

Stop Attacking Each Other

I could have easily used this bit of wisdom during my first marriage. We stopped trying to fix the problem and just attacked each other. So instead of seeing the problem for what it was, we focused all our hurt at each other and slowly lost sight of what the problem was even all about. And then it was all down hill from there.

Divorce is Too Easy To Say

And the problem wasn't just unique to us. It seemed like everyone we knew were all facing the same situation and just blaming each other rather then seeing the problem and finding solutions. Today were a society that yells the word divorce first and never looks to the options that are all around them and anyone of them may prove to solve their situation.

Hindsight is Always Easier to See

I’m forever sorry for the divorce my boys had to experience, but hindsight is always more understandable then facing the facts at that time. In my today thinking I would be really looking at what really is going on and not focusing on each other. Maybe if both of us would have stopped looking at each other and thought about how things were with us and maybe with all options on the table we would be enjoying our grand children today. But most maybes are like snow flakes in the summer time they just don't last long enough for our thoughts to get the point.

Understand Your Options

Think of all the time, money and heartache that could be avoided by just taking the time to understand all the options and stop blaming each other and say Im sorry and lets use all are might to make our dreams to come true.


Parents Should Act Like Parents

And just think how much better that would be for the children when the parents stop being the children and act like parents and really see the joy in staying together and loving each other. And most of all stop putting the blame on each other and just fix the problem thru good thinking and positive thoughts. And then smiles would prevail and hugs would be the order of the day. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by irito_run

Hypnosis a Good Friend to Marriage

Hypnosis Helps Many Smokers

While in my senior year of high school I had the special opportunity to meet a gentlemen who helped people stop bad habits by using hypnosis on them. He stopped a friend of mine from smoking and even today he still is off the cigarettes. His name was John Melts and he worked out of a small office in his house. Most of his clients were referred to him by people in the medical profession since he was a medical doctor himself and hypnosis was a side line business for him.

My First Self Hypnosis Lesson

I called him and made a appointment for the sole purpose of learning how to do self hypnosis on myself. At our first meeting he suggested we start by first letting him put me in a suggestive state and then he would give me suggestions that by following a certain routine I would be able to self induce hypnosis to myself. He suggested I see him once weekly for four weeks. He gave me a written dialog that I would following to achieve a state of mind that would likely help me make suggestions to myself that would help me improve the quality of my life. After four treatments the doctor said that he had done all that he could do and the rest of my success would require further practice and in time I would reap the benefits of making suggestions to myself.

Forty Five Years Ago

That learning was forty five years ago and it still works like a charm today. From time to time I find myself slacking off and loosing the benefits of self hypnosis.


Its Like Ridding a Bike, Its Easy to ReLearn

I retired when I was sixty two and found myself with too much time on my hands and started writing articles for a publishing company my son operates. At first the writing came hard and the articles were hard to produce on a regular basis. But the I remembered the self hypnosis that I used to do and remembered how much it helped me solve problems and things I needed to get done. It took me about three weeks to get that state of mind back, but when I did boy did it do the trick for me. With out hypnosis I was at best cranking out one article every two or three days. Now energized I've done as many as six in one morning of time.

Heres how it works for me and maybe it will help you deal with some of your issues.

First find a quiet place and a comfortable recliner. Turn the lights off and close the drapes. Now lay still and breath in and slowly let the air out three times. Now just relax for a minute or two. Now with your eyes closed speak to yourself in a low voice or just in your mind which ever works out best for you. And here's what I say to myself. I'm going deep deep asleep and Ill say this four of five times. Then I say I'm going to count from one to ten and when I reach ten I'm going to be in a deep sleep. Then I just lay there for a few minutes and then I make suggestions to myself. Like I'm the greatest writer in the world and when I awake new article ideas will come to me. And I make this statement maybe six times and then I go on to something else.


Hang in There it Really Works

If your persistent and follow the process’ things will improve in your life. It works for me and I’m sure it will work for you. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking by it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by magnetbox

Find the Life Style that Works for You

One Attraction Shouldn't Make a Relationship

People meet and like something about each other and then they develop a relationship. But what they don't know is what kind of connection do they have and how well is it going to stand up to the test of time. If there pretty much alone they may find that a good thing and it works well for them because they don't know any difference. And if they never move or change some of their routine they will not interact with different people and discover that there are indeed different ways to live together. If you only learn one way, then you will not miss something that you see other people doing like for example, ridding a bike, rowing a boat or just watching tv. Today of course we think of ourselves as being worldly and we think we know pretty much what is going on in the world. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

You Should Observe many Life Styles Before finding one that Works for You

You can live right next to someone and not know anything about them or what their life style is. So the trick to having the lifestyle that works for you requires that you experience all the kinds of ways that people can live their life. Then if your open minded and honest with yourself and have the self will to live the way you want to; then and only then will you truly find your place in the scheme of things. Limiting yourself the choices that are available to you will lessen your ability to find yourself and fill the space you want to fill.

Your Life Style is you, So Be Yourself

You should never let someone else chose the lifestyle you want for yourself. If what you want doesn't jell with your partner move on and find a companion that works for you. If you don't you'll never find yourself and that will be the greatest loss in your life.

Love and Life Style Should go Hand in Hand

I in my younger years used to think that love was the only life style and without it you had know life at all. Today even thought love is still my primary thinking, but I now value all living styles as long as love is one of the forces that hold them together. There are thousands of ways and reasons to share your life with someone else. I think that God judges us by the value of our love and not by how we live are life. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by *Savaman*