Marriage Secrets


Married or Single Which is Better?

Hands Down Marriage, If Love Rules

I once again proclaim myself an authority on this subject because Ive experienced both singleness and togetherness. I have accumulated nineteen years of being single and a slightly shorter number being married. And the following is my observations concerning the pros and cons of being single or married. Since I have spent more time being single lets start there first. Im judging my single time from the date of my divorce till I married again and that was roughly nineteen years. During this time I only proposed to one girl and that status only lasted about two months and failed because both of us saw the handwriting on the wall and realized almost unilaterally that I wasnt marring material. The gesture on my part was genuine enough but didnt carry the weight of total commitment and the girl in question who I adored discovered by my words and actions, that I wasnt trying hard enough to make the journey to togetherness.

When Single I Never Mentioned the Word Love

All during this single phase in my life I dont believe I ever said I love you. My loveless childhood no doubt influenced this faulty behavior. It doesnt excuse my behavior but it certain helps to explain it.

Didn't Know What It Was

Look at it from my point of view both my childhood and first marriage produced a negative picture about love and it's no wonder I didnt really believe love was for real. All during this time I chose to be single because I had no real experience in knowing what real love was. And it seemed to me that everyone in my area of influence wasnt doing well with the love concept either. My adopted parents who I miss everyday were the exception to the rule and always showed their affection for each other. But alas my closed mind didnt see the positive example they demonstrated. Sometimes I think we can get too much of a bad thing and spend the rest of our life trying to recover from it.

Blind Sided by Love

I dont really think in my heart of hearts that I really wanted to spend the rest of my life alone, but I unknowingly chose this path because I didnt know any better. Then one day I knocked on a door and it opened and there stood the love I have never known in my life. It was and still is the most over whelming feeling of wellness I have ever experienced in my life. In time I came to the conclusion that this was, what they referred to as being in love with someone.

Yes to Marriage If Love Rules

Now heres my conclusion on the question is being married better the being single? Yes if your in love with the person your with. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by sugarpuss4ever