Marriage Secrets

Monday

Unruly Childen Can Weaken a Marriage





Children Need Supervision

Children that arent properly supervised and trained to act in a socially acceptable way can and frequently are one of the major reasons why couples throw up there hands and seek a legal separation or a divorce. And they the couple are the reason the children are the way they are. So separating the parents doesnt solve the root of the problem. And depending on how old the children are may also create a greater degree of difficulty to resolve the problem changing their behavior.

Children Don't Rule You Rule

The nanny person on tv is an excellent example how children should be taught and supervised. Children whether we realize it or not, want and need to be under the rules of engagement like in the army. Allow me to give you a small example of what Im talking about. I during my single years I dated a girl who thought being her sons friend was more important then being a parent. As I recall she indicated she read this book and it preached this thought of raising children. And it appeared via my observations that she whole hardily embraced this idea. And we connected and started casual dating for about two months. The boy was twelve and seemed to be more in charge of things then she did. And the also included no physical or emotional discipline, which from my vantage point made no sense at all. But it wasnt my child and I have always viewed my participation in other peoples problem as a no do thing.

Child Was In Charge

So I enjoyed her company and always insisted we go somewhere like the movies etc. This was my tactic to avoid the chaos of the home environment. And for a time it worked pretty well but then came the inevitable clash of two people going in different directions. In the scheme of things we really had many things going for us and it may have developed into something had the uncontrolled child been put in his place and resumed the status of a child and also if the Mother reversed her friend concept and started being a proper acting Mother again. So friendship ruled and that ruling, ruled me out. I know that she missed what we had because numerous times I received notes which explained in broken spelled words how much she missed not having us together and even once slightly implied she might reconsider over turning her previous ruling and rule in my favor and proclaim herself a Mother again. I for a time hoped for the best but inwardly I hardly sensed the reality it might happen. So all of us were the victims of a bad idea that some stupid ignorant person wrote a book about. Beware of those, who dont know, of what they speak. Thats how I feel and Im sticking to it.


Don L. Terrill
The Marriage Guru

photo by MShades